Forgiveness is a process, not an event. It’s taking me a while to understand this… and see this is a worthy topic to share.

If ever you want to grow – whether it be mentally, spiritually or emotionally – just work in a team setting. At some point, there will be a challenge or conflict, and someone inevitably will be hurt or take offense.

I struggle when I find myself in a spot where I’ve been hurt by others – and more often than not possibly have been the offender. Too often people don’t express that they have been hurt by you… and when that happens, the action and behavior go unchecked. Either way, it sure stings when it does happen.

While forgiveness comes easy to some, to most it’s quite difficult. Many of us simply don’t know how to begin the “process” of forgiveness… or don’t understand what it really means.

When we practice forgiveness we allow a transformation to take place. The anger and hurt is transformed into healing and peace. Forgiveness allows us to overcome feelings of depression, anxiety, rage, as well as personal and relationship conflicts.

So, how do you know if you are struggling with an issue of forgiveness?

It’s the grief we walk with, it’s the story we tell ourselves about pain and grief. What is your grievance story? You know, the one you tell over and over to yourself, and to others about how you were wronged.

If you truly want to move on to better and greater, it is important to make the conscious decision to let go of any resentments.

For many of us… we assume that if we forgive our offenders, they are let off the hook — and we unfairly remain suffering from their actions. Some of us also may think that we have to be friendly with them again. Forgiveness doesn’t automatically mean a reconciliation. In the process of forgiveness, we can move on, we don’t have to return to the same relationship. Forgiveness also invites us to break the pattern of allowing others to continue hurting us with their harmful behaviors.

It is written that God commands us to forgive others, he never told us to keep trusting those who violated our trust or even to like being around those who hurt us.

We all have the right to live a healthy life. To do that we need to develop an understanding and respect for our own life.

In the physical -forgiveness is associated with lower heart rate and blood pressure as well as overall stress relief. In the psychological -forgiveness helps restore positive thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Forgiveness is returning to God the right to take care of justice and trusting that God will take care of matters.

TODAY, allow God to take care of justice and re-write your grievance story.

Re-write your story in such a way that you become a survivor of difficult times, — better yet — you become the hero!

Remember that you cannot control others, but you can control your own choices.